| zeri ( @ 2007-03-24 09:57:00 |
I wrote this at work on March 13th, 2005. I think it started like this:
- God I'm bored - work is SO DAMNED SLOW today. Give me something to write about.
-Write me a story with, hmmmm.... armadillos, leprosy, Timbuktu and a picnic basket.
- What? But those things don't go together at all!
- So??
And this is what happens when you open things up to someone with a highly developed sense of the absurd. Thanks C!
Juniper and the Radioactive Picnic Basket
“Mama Mama get up!! Is it time yet? Is it? Come on, Mama!”
“
Marigold fixed her daughter with a stern gaze until Juniper reluctantly jumped down and shuffled down the hall.
Wearily, she turned her eyes back to her former husband. His shell glistened a deep violet in the morning glare, and he looked rested, she noted with disgust. Way too rested.
“What,” she grated, “are you still doing here?”
“Back off Tim, I’m not interested in your rationalizing right now. What are you doing here? Did you think I’d let you and false piety in on this day, of all days? That June and I would show our underbellies at one flick of your tail? Well, let me tell you something, Reverend, that’s not how it works! Now go!”
He stared at her, incredulous. “But last night, you were… we were okay. What happened to change that, honey?”
“I’m sober!” she spat. “And what happened to change us being okay happened a long time ago, when you fucked that damn floozy in my bed!”
Tim looked around nervously, hushing her.
“Don’t you dare hush me!” she flared, “This is my house now, Tim”, she added more softly, conscious now of Juniper’s presence in the other room, “and I’d appreciate if you left.”
He opened his mouth, lashed his tail, and shut his mouth again. Marigold had never before seen the honey-tongued preacher without a word to say.
“Your house.” He seemed to choke on the words. “My house, which I built, and my daughter, which I made. Mine. And I fully intend to participate on her pilgrimage to the
She snorted.
“You abrogated your rights in this family, and in this community, buddy. You might have thought about them before making little miss Goldilocks your mistress. And the tabloids! They didn’t even get the race right! Bears and humans? By the Armour, who the hell in their right mind would believe that? But they got the names right, didn’t they, oh no, no mistake there, not at all. And there was nothing your spin doctors could do about that, or the shame your daughter felt! I’m glad I gave the little flipshell leprosy!”
She paused, panting in her rage. “But there is nothing I can do to stop you, you’re right about that. So come. Make a spectacle of the most sacred event in your daughter’s life. I hope it makes you happy.”
“Damn hike”, she muttered as she stalked from the room, lashing her tail.
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The day was hot and humid as the procession snaked its slow way through the dusty countryside. High Priest
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Tail swinging nervously, she stepped from her mother’s side, resolving not to look back or to either side. She could, and would, do this. Step by step she drew closer to the giving, and as she crested the hill the vertigo and panic welled up to her throat, constricting her breathing and closing her throat on a scream. There they were, the enemy, sitting peacefully below just as if they didn’t have a thousand deaths on their conscience, the flesh, blood and skin of hundreds of her people between their teeth, in their labs, adoring their homes. At this thought the bile rose up as anger in her gorge, and with new determination she stepped towards the armourless pink monstrosities. She would complete the Giving!
And then she squeaked.
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Juniper arrived panting back into the midst of her community, relief flooding their tight pinched faces as they noted the triumphant gleam in her dark eyes. She had succeeded in the Giving, and a new soldier joined the ranks! Soon, the push would come, and all the soft pink things would be Given to. With luck, it would drive them from this place and the community would be safe. And as custom dictated and full hearts demanded, every armadillo in the procession rolled into prayer, and gave thanks to the Great One for the gift of the Giving of Leprosy.
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